Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

Granted, but you don't have time to actually do anything about it because people keep coming over to check up on you and borrow your computer all day.

I wish I had more ambition.

Granted but now you live in a... drain pipe..

I wish I didn't keep dropping my phone while talking..

Granted. Your phone is now stuck to your hand. I'd wear gloves when you shower, if I were you.

I wish we won. ):

Granted. But the resulting compensation is you now have a broken leg. Yeesh, didn't see that one coming. >_<

I wish for one "diminished side effect" wish card, that I may use when I want! XD

Granted, but it only works on the side-effect you like. xD

I wish that AP exams were finished and done and that I had passed with flying colors.

Granted, but those flying colours escaped from your report card and flew to China. The Chinese then incinerated the flying colours and you now have no proof that you passed with flying colours.

I wish I didn't open my mouth so often.

Granted. Now you open it more HAHAHA! MUWHAHA.. beep

I wish homework didn't stretch ito the lonely hours of 1am..

Granted. Now it still stretches to 1am, but it isn't lonely, every single person in the country is banging on your front door.

I wish I knew how to work the repeat function of my stereo thingie.

Granted, but it doesn't work.

I wish I could feel my left leg. xD

Granted, now you can't feel your right leg.

I wish I could work out what on earth to write about for this stupid narrative thing for English.

Granted, but you still get a D.

I wish I had a pet chicken, that could laugh, cry and sing. :3

Granted. Three weeks after you get it, it dies.

I wish my headband would stop falling off.

*sobs loudly*

G-g-granted... bu-bu-bu YOU KILLED MY CHICKEN! I BLAME YOU!!

I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY FATHER!! D:

/end stupidity

Granted, now she's your mother. YAY SEX CHANGE!

I wish I had been -permitted- to sleep last night.

Granted. You also get a free pie, but the pie has a bomb that is set to explode as soon as it hits your lower intestine. That's GAWDA HOIWT.

I wish my nose was itchy.

granted, you itch it and then you kiss me! 8D (i thinks thats how the saying goes )

i wish i had a mic

Granted, but it doesn't work..

I wish I wasn't nervous for my audition in 25 mins..

Granted. You're so calm you fell asleep and missed it.

I wish I didn't have allergies.

Granted. Now your previous allergens are allergic to you

I wish for an Xbox 360! =p

Granted. As soon as you touch it, it turns into a PS2.

I wish people would at least be mean to others quietly so I didn't overhear stuff I really don't want to all the time.

Granted. But now they're always whispering mean things 24/7.

I wish I get into the acting agency that I auditioned for yesterday

Granted, but now every time someone says "Break a Leg" you actually do.

I wish I could remember what I was planning to do today.

Granted, but you don't want to do the things you were planning to do today after you remember.

I wish I was 15 and had ID.

Granted, but it has a brain of it's own.

I wish someone was on skype, 'cause I reinstalled it

Granted, but no one wants to talk to you.

I wish I didn't have two ulsars (if that's how you spell it) stuck next to eachother..