Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

Granted, but its evil

I wish I knew why I had to sit down when I pee?

Granted, you know women have to do that every time? Us guys get it easy in that department.

I wish there were no homophobes. they disgust me.

Granted, but now dogs rule the world.. OH NOEZ!!! *runs away*

I wish someday we all met in the same mental hospital.. xDDD

Granted, we are ll right here. It shall be called "Nintendork Asylum and Sanitarium: Home for the criminally insane"

Cause you know we are all criminals.


I wish I could start up an asylum.

Granted, but it has to be an ASSylum *inside joke with Ally*

I wish I hadn't just been assigned anothe paper to write. that brings the total to 9, counting college essays.

Granted. Now you have to grade 150 term papers.

I wish messes were as easy to clean up as they are to make.

Granted, now you have no sponges and have to lick them all up.

I wish that I had more free time.

Granted, but that free time will be used to stare at the wall.

I wish I had a quiet, adorable puppy that never does anything wrong or has anything wrong with it.

Granted, but it kills you with cuteness overload.

I wish I had a REAL mario coin.

Granted, but it's worth nothing.

I wish I could walk on my hands. I'd be all like "Hey, betches! Check out this crazy shizz!" and walk on my hands and be instantly AWESOME!

Granted but you can't wear gloves. Ever. Not even when you hand-walk over nails. And you can't use your feet.


I wish. School was cancelled today.

Granted, but it's due to another nasty disease outbreak... and you have it!

I wish I had more time to play my game

Granted, now you are killed by the KGB if you stop.

I can haz weekend?

Granted, but you have school on weekends now.

I can haz bebbeh?

Granted, but it's the spawn of satan.

I can haz college applications done?

Granted. Go do them again.

I can haz non-satan-spawn bebbeh?

Granted, now it's the spawn of a tree, so it's half oak.

I wish that dinner was ready.

Granted, but you can't eat it.

I wish I had a HUMAN baby that was NOT a spawn of Satan and is NOT Treejen!

Granted, but it has face AIDS aka insane verbal spammage 24/7.

I can has a heartless bitch?

Granted, but I have been here all along *teehee*

I can haz da proper speling?

Granted, but now it's in 133+.

I can has 133+?

No! Wish NOT granted. You're monkey paw is not pleased. Go home.

...I can haz home?

Granted, but you locked yourself out.

I can haz cheezburger?

Granted, but it'll be goat cheese

I can haz lazor?

grantef, but u shoot a mirror and die

i can haz all sonic archie comicz including 25 years later?