Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

granted but they're not in your head

I wish my boyfriend was out of boot camp

Granted, but now he's seeing someone else.

I wish real life money was as easy to make as it is in Pokemon games.

granted, but it's illegal


I wish Jacob would stop snoring so loudly.

Granted, but now you have trains blowing their whistles every hour all night.

I wish that people were as easy to understand as cats are.

Granted, but now you're as crazy as they are.

I wish I was outside dancing naked in the rain in the middle of no where with no one watching.

granted.... watch out for that lightning. And that hail.

I wish those tornados had never touched down.

-reviving-

Granted, but now there is no such thing as a tornado, so The Wizard of Oz series was never written.

I wish that this thread would get more people responding again

Granted, it gets so spammy that no one knows who they're responding to and things are flying everywhere and amongst the mess, you lose your favourite pet monkey.

I wish I had a cat that didn't attempt to murder me all the time

Granted, but now you have a dog that tries to murder you all the time

I wish I had a lemon.

Granted, it's alive, and won't die until it has squirted you in the eyes 23 times.

I wish I had a driver's licence.

Granted, but it isn't yours.

I wish that I hadn't come down with whatever this is.

Granted, but you'll get something worse.

I wish someone was talking on chat

Granted, but they're dead.

I wish I had a Cake.

Granted, it's make of rubber.

I wish winter would be over already.

Granted... But you have to move to the other side of the planet. (You can come here for the 100+ degree (Fahrenheit) heat wave we are just getting over with. We were getting into what would be 40 degrees for you for a few days.)

I wish the temperatures would stay in the mid-70s for the rest of the summer, now that the heat wave is gone.

^Pssh. Summer before last, it was over 45 here for a month, I think I can handle 40 xD

Granted, but Winter is now constantly 100+.

I wish sneezing didn't exist.

( *Imagines 115 degree temperatures at 80% humidity* If you left a tea-bag in an empty cup, did you get a few drops of tea from it? *makes personal note to actually try that this July or August* )

Granted, but now you end up swallowing all the stuff that you would have sneezed out...

I wish I hadn't thought about that.

Granted, instead you thought about spiders eating you alive.

I wish my head would stop hurting.

Granted. Now your head is fine but the rest of your body hurts.

I wish it was possible to take a shower and wash your hair and actually get clean without having to get wet.

(That's what ended up happening last night... thanks xD )
Granted. You now have to shower every 3 hours to stay clean.

I wish my friends weren't all in production so I have someone to hang out with this week.

Granted, but now they are all "borrowing" from you because they have no job and no money.

I wish there were more for toddlers in the Sims

Granted, but now the world is ruled by toddlers :DD

I wish cake wasn't a lie.

granted. But now you have an entire warehouse full of cakes that you have to eat, and it's still fattening.

(I don't care about fattening. I wish I had one of those chocolate ones with mint frosting)

Granted, it's poisonous.

I wish I had the motivation to do homework now so I don't have a shitton next week.

granted. The internet has gone down, and you have nothing else to do.

I wish all these ants would stay out of the house.