Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

Granted but now you are a murderer, and will be jailed in a day

I wish Crazy Frog was NOT stuck in my head

Wish granted, but Crazy frog will be forever stuck in your eyes.

I wish I could show people my hand puppet.





...
It has a blue beard!

Granted, but every time you do they end up getting so annoyed that you end up in a fight with them.

(Memories of Sims 1 and that silly hand puppet interaction that Mortimer Goth was so fond of and almost everyone else hated.)

I wish EA hadn't botched the latest Sims 3 patch.

Granted but....uhhhh...lolwhut

I wish i never crashed into Liz's house with that limo, 18wheeler, and that transformer dewd 8D those were ur presents fo Xmas! but they all blew up and made a purdy light show

Granted, now you crashed into your OWN house! :O

I can has a break from work?

Granted, but your fired.

i wish i had a pony that wasnt cute and not ugly, and nothing was wrong with it, it never died, it loved me, and it wasnt wanted for anycrimes, or was a terrorist

Granted, your pony is imaginary.

I can haz touche?

Granted, but your shower is dirty water. (u mean douche in french.......right? I dunnno wtf u is talkin bout)

i wish i had a pony that wasnt cute and not ugly, and nothing was wrong with it, it never died, it loved me, and it wasnt wanted for anycrimes, or was a terrorist, it would never kill anybody, it wasnt evil, and everyone loved it, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD IT WASNT IMAGINARY

Granted but it is a toy pony that has learned to love you.

I wish you never get a pony.

Granted, dinner is in half an hour.

I wish I had better vision.

Granted. Now you have x-ray vision, and can see through everything. But now that everything is transparent, you have no idea where it is.

I wish my son would stop finding where I hid my chocolate.

Granted, he fell into a diabetic coma and died.

I wish I had a bulldozer.

Granted but it comes alive and destroyes all you love

I wish I had some money.

Granted, but money=girls/time

i wish i was a yoshi

Granted, have fun with a fat plumber on your back all day.

I wish I had a new cellphone.

Granted, but the radiation microwaves your brainz.

I wish i had a nose like you.

Granted.



I wish I could sleep instead of doing stuff like this.

Granted. You are now 6 hours late for work.

I wish I didn't feel so sick last night.

Granted, but now you have a nose like wario.

I can haz lolcat?

Granted, but little do you know, it's a dog.

I wish that children's shows swore more often. : :

Granted, but now Dora the Explorer is no longer on the air.

I wish I had a job to be 6 hours late for. :/

Granted, but it doesn't pay anything.

I wish I had a ham.

Granted, but it's still running around on the pig.

I wish that I could have gotten all the letters on the red carpet without making either all the other words look too small for their area or making "Nintendorks" look squished...

(Edit: this is an open invitation if someone wants to fix it!)

Granted, you should make a separate text box for the word "Nintendorks" then add the "s" and squish it sideways just slightly, or maybe squeeze the whole thing inwards a bit to match.

I wish college apps weren't due so soon.

Granted, but I heard Clown College is hard to get into.

Some of my fellow dorks wish to be approved for accounts again, methinks.