Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

Granted, MRSA is back though.

I wish my school was more tolerant.

Granted but your parents arent...


I wish, my exgirlfriend had her head shaved into a mohawk, and she was forced to stay in JROTC forever (she hates it) and she was forced to date the person she hates the most (besides me)

Granted. Now she has it out for you.

I wish I didn't have homework tonight.

Granted but you have to do mine... please?


I wish I could drink all the pepsi i want without dying or getting fat.

Granted, but now you have an STD.

I wish I hadn't just given Raps an STD.

I wish I hadn't been late in posting. And I also wish I hadn't just double-posted.

O_________________O

That's 3 wishes. All granted, now the genie kills you.

I wish it wasn't 9pm.

Easily granted. Now it's 10:09 pm

I wish adjusting clocks would adjust RL time.

Granted, but now you can't find a clock.

I wish daylight savings time ending didn't mean that the sun goes down at 5pm.

Granted but it raises at 6, oh wait....


I wish my power would go back on...

Granted, but now you are electrocuted and crispy.

I wish I had a bunny rabbit. A nice sweet little bunny rabbit who would let me hug it.

Granted, but there are loopholes to it being nice.


I wish the rotten state of Denmark wasn't so smelly.

Granted, but now you stink. Like rotten fish. Bathed in farts. For 10 years inside of a corpse.

I wish I was infertile so I don't have to use... well. You get it.

Grantedbut now you can getpregnant.


Iwish my right arrow was fixed,

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DOES NOT WANT TO HAZ BABBIES!

Granted! But now your left one is broken?

I wish I could throw a super mega party,.

Granted, but no one comes.

i wish that i had 5 more hours before i had to go to bed.

Granted, but no one comes. (RAPS YOU STOLE MY POST!)

Granted, but you have to wake up in 3.

I wish I could see Sayde give birth. That would keep me amused for YEARS.

Granted because it would do the same for me.

I wish I could fix the damn smiley box colors.

Granted. No bad onsequences....for the sanity of all.

I wish there wasn't a max amount of credits I could take.

Granted, now you have to take every course to graduate. (There's a MAX? Wtf?)

I can has buttseks?

No. Not granted, I am saving you, trust me.

Yea there is a freakin max. I HATE IT!


Iwish I could fall asleep.

Granted, now you never wake up.

I can haz epic win?

*pops out a baby*

THAT WAS THE MOST ANOGONIZINGLY PAINFUL THING I'VE EVER DONE!

*passes out from pain*

Granted, but you will epically fail from now on

I wish i could pee again. That baby really messed me up.

(remembering when I had a baby...) Granted. But once you get started it takes you another 8 months before your bladder remembers the part about "wait until the toilet is open and you are seated."



I wish I didn't keep ending up without enough money to pay all the bills.

granted, now the government wants more in taxes.

I wish that I had a kitten.