Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

Granted but you would never ever know about it.

I wish my father would shut UP!

Granted, but then you would never shut up

I wish I had cereal

Granted but it is soggy and a cereal monster lives inside.


I wish my stomach would stop hurting.

Granted though you now have a healthy baby girl


I wish no one knew where I was

That was so perfect. LOL


Granted, but you end up being in the state of demensia.


I wish my hair would tease properly

Granted, but teasing makes insensitive people cry.

i wish I had a ham cookie!

Granted, but Chuck Norris took it before you could even look at it.


I wish my computer was faster.

Granted, but now it is so fast that none of the current software can run because the system isn't slow enough


OOPS: My wish

I wish they had actually gotten rid of this silly tumor when they first found it instead of sending me all over everywhere discussing options and seeing what else might be wrong first.

Granted but the doctors all died before they could tell you.


I wish that I ca get the pain out of my hair without it destroying my hair.

Granted, but now your hair grows 12 inches a day so you keep needing haircuts.

I wish cheat codes worked in real life.

Granted but it messes everything, muck like boolprop. I still use it and I dont give a damn!

I wish the posters would stop falling off my walls

Granted, but now they take the walls with them when they fall.

I wish I had more boxes

Granted but they are ity bity.

I wish the damn protesters would get off my damn doorstep.

Granted. Now they are in your bathroom.

I wish I could stop time

Granted but everyone and everything freezes but you.

I wish I had more energy

Vampy...isnt taht the upside to stopping time? XD

Granted but you will never sleep.


I wish I didnt have writers block

Granted, but you can not write, type or record you thoughts in any form.

I wish that men didn't assume I was idiot because Im girl. Or I have big boobs. Whatever.

Granted, but all men will be too stupid to take in anything you say.

I wish I had a gun. It'd be so awesome, like "BANG, you're dead!" to everyone I hate.

Liz isnt that already true? JUST KIDDING GUYS

Granted but it only has a little bang flag that pops out.


I wish I had a bang flag gun that shot the flag and impales you, because they are so awesome

Granted, but the gun backfires...... D=

I wish that my mother wasn't such a cheapo and paid more attention to me..

Granted, but now she goes with you everywhere. Literally everywhere. Even to the restroom.


I wish I knew where my toothbrush got packed

granted, but you realize it was wrapped in dirty underwear



I wish I could shapeshift.

Granted, though every change you do causes people to scream in pain

I wish I could fly away to a better tomorrow

Granted but your plane crashes into a tower

I wish my girlfriend was naked in my bed.

Granted though she is on her period


I wish I could speak Spanish