HARRRYYYY POTTEEERRRRR!!!!

Okay, sooo it opened with snape looking out over the school at night looking all determined and everything.

And then it went to Shell Cottage with Luna, Harry, Ron, Hermione, The Goblin and Mr. Ollivander.... and Fleur and Bill.... Then the trio spoke to the Goblin about getting into Gringotts.... then the spoke to Mr. Ollivander to see if they can use Bellatrix's wand and he said be careful because you haven't claimed this wand by defeating her etc. etc.

So then Hermione had polyjuice potion and turned into Bellatrix and she looked REALLY awkward because she couldn't walk around in Bellatrix's high heels properly and it was pretty funny.............................................

So they arrived at Gringotts and someone suspected them but Harry under his invisibility cloak used the imperious curse on one of the goblins to let them through.....

So they were on the rail thing to go down to Bellatrix's vault to possibly find the other horcrux but they came across the waterfall that went over the rail thing that washes away all enchantments, so Hermione and Ron were now Hermione and Ron, not Bellatrix and the dude Ron was dressed as.

Then the Goblin took them past the dragon and into the vault and they soon worked out that whatever they touched in the vault would multiply so they had to quickly get the Cup and when Harry finally got it when he was nearly drowned in burning hot multiplying gold the Goblin, Griphook double crossed him by asking for the sword in exchange for helping Harry get into the vault......... then he said, "I never said anything about helping you out," and ran away.

So Harry Ron and Hermione were all like, shitfuckballs what do we do now. Then like the police or whatever.... not death eaters... they were like police came running down firing spells at them but there was a protective barrier that would make the spells rebound and then hermione had an idea to jump on the dragon, free him, then fly with him until the appropriate time to jump etc. etc.

So once everyone had died in Gringotts because of the dragon being set loose it flew around England for a short time and when it was flying over a lake harry said to jump so they all jumped into the water and it seemed like Harry had an epileptic fit but he was actually seeing into Voldemort's mind.

THEN they got out of the water and rubbed essence of dittany on their hands... they stripped so you could see Harry and Ron's awfully sculpted bodies and they got changed into nice clean clothes....

I completely forgot what happened then, but I think they just went straight to Hogsmeade. Oh, wait if you've never read the books... you'll be confused as fuck.... because it all happens really quickly.

So when they arrived in Hogsmeade it was all dark and the alarms went off and they were hiding and Aberforth, Dumbledore's brother saved them and ushered them into his house thing.

He said things like, "you should give up, you don't stand a chance," but Harry was all like determined to get into the castle.

So Aberforth finally gave in and said to the picture of Ariana, his sister, "you know what to do," so she nodded, turned around and walked away.

Harry Ron and Hermione were getting incredibly freaked out when she was coming back with someone but they soon realised it was a very beaten looking neville and the portrait of Ariana opened like a door and there, in a cave-like thing was Neville and they were like OMG Neville wow OOOH!

So Neville brought them back to the castle explaining that the school was a very dangerous place to be in and the got into the room of requirement and all of their friends were there having orgasms when they saw Harry...

So they did sort of put this out of order and stuff but whatever. So snape, the new headmaster, called the whole school into the great hall saying if anyone knows something about Harry Potter's whereabouts... now is the time. Then you here someone come out and everyone is all gasping and like OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE! But they realise it's Harry and he says emotional things to Snape and then Pansy Parkinson from Slytherin says, "well go on, someone grab him," and then Ginny emotional stands in front of him like the emotional swine she is.

More people start defending Harry and then McGonagall steps in front and EVERYONE moves to the sides. McGonagall had her wand at the ready and started throwing awesome looking spells at Snape, pushing closer and closer then Snape ran and jumped out of the window and flew away.

Oh yeah, Maggie Smith is like 80 so I gave her a good old clap while in the cinema because she did a good job.

ANYWAY, she then said to filch, "will you please escort miss Parkinson and every other Slytherin away," and then Filch asks where and she replies by saying, "the dungeons will do."

EVERYONE IN THE THEATRE WAS ALL LIKE SUCK ON THAT SLYTHERINS.

Then McGonagall took charge and it was SOOO cute but that's the one thing I'm not going to give away because she was actually SO incredible, i thoroughly enjoyed it!

Okay, then there was another sweet scene where she roared as loudly as she could and said this AWESOME spell and one by one the statues from the castle dropped down from the sky and like bowed to her command and she said something like, "do your duty to the school and defend it!"

And then she said to Molly Weasley, "I've always wanted to use that spell," with a little giggle which I thought was sweet.

Okay soo.... what happened now hmm...

Oh yeah Harry asked if she could bide him some time so he could do what he needed but Voldemort had penetrated everyone's mind saying things like, "if you do not return him to me within the next hour, you shall all die.." but everyone was all brave and yeah... can't quite remember what happened.

Then Harry ran off to the Ravenclaw common room but Luna was like wait, wait!!!! Harry was all like, "no Luna, I'm a little busy." Then Luna really stood up for herself and said, "Harry Potter, you will stop and listen to what I have to say." So he turned around and she explained that no one alive has seen the diadem (the next horcrux he has to kill) but there is someone dead who can help.

She took him to where Helena Ravenclaw wonders around, and he spoke to her for a while about the Diadem, I won't give too much away but he said he was seeking to destroy it then she got all angry and said that there was another boy a while ago who sought to do the same thing, but he lied and used it for evil. But Harry insisted and then she finally gave in, saying that it was in the castle. I can't quite remember what she said but whatever she said she meant it's in the room of requirement and Harry ran off.

So Harry arrived in the room of requirement, but Draco and his friends were with him, Harry found it but saw Draco so he'd have to wait. Then Harry shouted out Expelliarmus, then Goyle shouted Avada Kedavra at Hermione who had just arrived with Ron but it missed her.

OH WAIT! I forgot to say something. So Hermione and Ron brought the Hufflepuff cup into the chamber of secrets (Ron remembered a few things Harry had said in Parseltongue so they could get in). Ron was all like, come on Hermione you can kill it. So she picked up a basilisk fang and stabbed it into the cup causing the water all around to churn and nearly drown them. But then it died and they suddenly started kissing and everyone in the cinema clapped and cheered!

Okay back to the room of requirement. Ron gets all angry and starts chasing after Goyle shouting, "that's my girlfriend you tried to kill!" For those who have read the books, you'd know it was actually Crabbe who did the next thing but he wasn't in the movie because the actor is in jail.

So Ron comes running back with a massive wave of fire coming after him, fiendfyre and then it goes to where Goyle is and he can't get it to stop coming out of his wand so he, Blaise and Draco started climbing things to get above the fire, but Goyle slips and falls into it and dies. The next scene was retarded seeing as Hermione Ron and Harry all got on separate brooms, pretty sure Hermione can't fly but whatever.

And they had the tiara and were flying around, looking for a way out then they saw Draco and Blaise and had to heroically save them. The got out of the room of requirement, stabbed the diadem and chucked it into the oncoming wave of fire which completely destroyed it and then the doors closed and everyone was saved YAY, except for Goyle but who cares about him.

The the battle continued and then it stopped because Voldemort penetrated everyone's mind saying, "it's a waste to spill magical blood so I want all my forces to retreat and Harry must come into the forbidden forest to face me, and die. If he does not - everyone who tries to protect him will die."

Harry had another vision of Voldemort in the boat shed with Lucius Malfoy. So he hurried down there with Ron and Hermione to find Voldemort talking to Snape about his wand. I can't be bothered to type what happened here but then Voldemort kills Snape.... but slowly - he gets Nagini to attack him once or twice then leave him... Harry ran in to try and help Snape. Snape pointed to his tears and asked Harry to collect them, Hermione gave him a vial then Snape said to Harry to put them in the Pensieve and then he died.

Harry ran back up to the school put the tears in the pensieve and looked at Snapes memories. I'm not going to give any of this away to those who haven't read the books because I just can't be bothered.

Then Harry goes off to the forbidden forest, Voldemort kills him but really Voldemort was just slowly killing himself because Harry is a horcrux, but Voldemort doesn't know that. So Harry is like in heaven with Dumbledore and Dumbledore explains that the part of Voldemort that was in Harry is now dead and Harry has a choice to go back to the real world.

Narcissa sort of betrays Voldemort without him knowing by going to Harry's "dead" body and bending down, she asked him if Draco is alive and he said yes so she turned around and said to Voldemort that Harry is dead.

Then Hagrid is forced to carry Harry's supposedly dead body back to Hogwarts and Voldemort happily goes on about how he killed him then a few things happen blah blah blah.... then Harry jumps out of Hagrid's arms and faces Voldemort and everyone was like OMG YAY!

Oh by the way, Fred is dead, so is Collin Creevy and Tonks and Lupin.

So a big battle goes on and Harry runs around and goes back into the castle and up the staircase which looks retarded because it's not a moving staircase and looks nothing like the stairs in any of the other movies. ANYWAY, Voldemort chases after him and Nagini follows.

Then there's a little bit of a fight with Harry and Voldemort but then Nagini starts following Ron and Hermione and is about to launch itself at them and then Neville comes in with the sword of Gryffindor and chops Nagini's head off, making Voldemort completely vulnerable.

Harry and Voldemort are fighting on their knees out in the courtyard but Harry defeats Voldemort.... and he blows up.

While Harry defeated Voldemort, Bellatrix and the other death eaters are in the Great Hall attacking people and Bellatrix throws a spell at Ginny. Molly comes in and said, "Don't you dare touch my daughter you BITCH!" and starts throwing spells at her then Bellatrix turns into like a floating corpse and blows up.

David Yates really likes making things blow up.

So everyone is saved and Voldemort is dead YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's pretty much the end of the movie and then it goes to the 19 years later bit which is just ridiculously stupid, I hated it, it ruined the movie, it was cheesy, stupid.... beyond bad!