Make a Wish: Monkey's Paw

granted but now they live in your car

I wish that I had a clone

Granted, they're evil.

I wish I could drop Sport & PE next year instead of in 3 years.

Granted, but it's replaced with something even worse.

I wish my son would do his homework.

Granted, he does a terrible job at it.

I wish my homework would do itself.

It does. It also gains self-awareness and eats you.

I wish the trolls would stay and play.

Granted, 'play' = destroy site. And chat.

I wish Monday would hurry up and get here.

Granted. And so will the Monday after that, and the Monday after that , and the Monday after that.... In fact, the only day left in the week is Monday, which makes you age 7 times as quickly. Enjoy turning 70 in less than 10 years..

I wish it would stay a nice reasonable temperature all year.

Granted, but there's no oxygen. Also you get mugged.

I wish I could flyyyyyy. I wish I could touch the skkkkkkkkkkkky.

Granted, you fly into space. Where there's no oxygen. Also you get mugged by aliens.

I wish I could've stayed in Melbourne longer.

Granted, now you can never leave Melbourne even when there is an event somewhere else that you want to go to.

I wish those aliens would help me think of something to wish for.

Granted, but they brainwashed you to wish that humans would become their slaves for eternity.

I wish my internet would stop disconnecting constantly.

Granted, but the only sites you can go to are gay porn sites.

I wish I had a breakfast sandwich.

Granted, but it has been sitting in a compost heap for the past month.

I wish I could carry a tune better. (And so does my family! )

Granted, but it's never the correct tune. ;D

I wish the snow this year was dry and fluffy!

(That's not really much of a change from the way I've always sung. )

Granted, but you still end up having to shovel 6 feet of it every morning in order to get out of your house.

(Actually; I think I'll take that back. We're close enough that your snow will also be my snow... Granted, but the snow is all in pictures. )

Granted, you're just as invisible as your wish now!

I wish the forum wasn't so dead.

granted, but now everyone is speaking Japanese.

I wish I could read Japanese as well as English.

Granted, you don't understand what it means, though.

I wish you had made a wish!

Granted, but I'm still stupid. xD

I wish I wasn't so tired that I can't work.

Granted, but now you have no arms.

I wish I had a cookie right now.

Granted, it's poisonous and explodes if it touches dust.

I wish I had more ideas for that TS3 shirt set.

Granted, but now you have so many ideas that you don't finish them before everyone has moved on to TS4!

I wish the Super Mario Project wasn't suffering a similar fate.

Granted, it never existed.

I wish all my RL friends were still in this region/state/country and not in various other ones.

Granted. They are all still on Earth, not on another planet around Alpha Centauri . (And yes, spell check that is a word. I did not mean Centurion! )

I wish spell check had a bit more intelligence.